3 Levels Of Cool

I think the coolest types of people are just the following:

1. Fat People
2. People with gaps in their teeth.
3. Short people.

Some might disagree but i shall explain why.

Short people are the third most coolest people in the world because they make our minds regress to childhood. Short people can in fact get away with anything by virtue of their small stature. I'm sure everyone has heard someone once say, "Come on just leave the small guy alone..." this is because when someone sees a short person their mind immediately goes back to childhood memories and they in turn see the person not as a person responsible for their actions but instead as an innocent child who didn't know what he was doing. This makes short people to some point untouchable and blameless (and a perfect scapegoat for us tall people). Ever hear the saying "Short people always have big tempers"? Well, now you know why. Short people know of the power they possess on average-height and tall people thats why they expect to get away with everything (and usually they do). But in the rare circumstance that they don't they get really angry as if their rights were violated, and true to form us unknowing tall people will feel guilty even when we're not on the wrong and justify or support his anger.
Fact: Noone ever punches a short person.

People with teeth gaps. Now this one goes without saying. Their level 2 coolness is as obvious as any other clearly obvious thing (sorry i couldn't find a simile for obviousness). Them having a gap can only be equated to a camel having a hump. The camels hump is what makes it such an epic animal; the ability to store large amounts of water for itself so it can survive in the desert. Same goes with teeth gaps, they serve as a reservoir for the lucky havers. Having that tiny space between two teeth that can fit one to three tic-tacs for later usage is by far one of the coolest things to have.
Fact: Tic-tacs can stay in between two teeth for upto 6 hours without losing initial flavour.

Fat People. Fat people are in my opinion the coolest people in the world. Their coolness is unmatched and unparalleled. Speaking as someone lucky enough to have fat friends i have been able to witness their coolness first hand. Fat people can basically have their way with anything they want; If they get to the dancefloor everyone steps away and disperses. If they order 6 burgers at McDonalds noone gives them bad looks and ask why Sammy is eating so much or whether or not he might have worms. Fat people can basically do whatever they want and noone says anything bad about it because they are fat; the ultimate cool.
Fact: Noone ever sits next to fat guy in a bus/airplane even if the seat next to him is free; Fatness means you never get disturbed

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