Thursday

Yoga Breaths

So today as i was watching tv i was flipping through shows and i stumbled on one drama. Nothing special but what i noticed was a scene where some girl's uncle died in the hospital and she said, "well his took his last breath and he knew that it was his last breath." which got me to thinking how would she know that that was his last breath. Better yet, what would i do if i knew that was my last breath. Most people would say they would like to die in their sleep or in the arms of their loved ones but i find that tacky and let's face it its already been done. For me, in the last 10 seconds of my life i am going to get my body into a very nice tight entangled yoga pretzel position, just like a really stiff knot because i know when you die your body becomes really stiff and i want to make it as hard as i can for my family to unscramble me. Also i will open my eyes as wide as i can and forcibly hold them open that way they stay that way, and whenever someone comes to dress me up for the funeral it will be like i am creepily watching them put clothes on me.

Moral of the story: If you're gonna go out, might as well go out with a bang.

Thought Of The Day

Bees do not taste like honey.

Tuesday

Conversation Quotes

George: I can't eat that i'm lactose-intolerant.

Ahmed: so that means you're scared of cows?