Thursday

Creep-stache.

I've never been god with facial hair. Every time i tried to grow a beard it would always come out patchy ad i'd look like a rabbit on chemotherapy. The thing about growing facial hair is that if you've never had a beard/moustache before and you have it, it makes you learn new things about yourself. I recently found out that if you grow a moustache and you look like me, then you can't talk to kids; it's one thing you definitely cross off the bucket list. what happened was i got this moustache and i was at the mall near my place minding my own business standing at the back of the elevator and in walks this family; mum dad and a fat little kid wearing a football hat. This kid walks in fat as hell smelling like breathing problems and cheeseburgers and he starts smiling up at me; he was like immediately looking up at me begging for me to make small talk or maybe he was really hungry, i don't know. So i didn't want to be rude so i look down to him and say, "Hey buddy, you like football?" and his dad hears me say that and almost immediately turns around and pulls the kid away from me like i was trying to creep on him. As soon as he did that part of me was thinking that i should stick up for myself and say something like, "Your kid's not that hot" or something, but they left the elevator by the time i thought of that. Moral Of The Story: Facial hair turns you into a pedophile.