Sunday

Fight Stories

I know for a fact that i'm not a fighter, i found that out once when i got punched in the face... a lot... in a row! At that moment i knew that fighting wasn't a thing for me at all, and decided i would stop doing it as soon as the guy was done hitting me in the face. If i was to describe the fight, it would be that it was horrible. His first punch i blocked with my face, and the second one i blocked with the back of my head. My plan was to keep repeatedly block his punches till he got tired at which point i would walk away victorious, well, more of run away victorious but let's face it running away is just walking away at a greater intensity so it would be more like walking away victorious but more intensely and at a greater speed. It didn't go well, i ended up with two black eyes, which as we all know is the maximum number black eyes possible. The fight got broken up and the guy that broke it up beat up the guy that was hitting me because he said he felt sorry for me, so technically i'm the only person who has ever fought a guy and came in third place!

Moral of the story: RUN!

Monday

Insect Armageddon

Unlike most people i like being in university. I've had fun with every aspect of med school; classes, friends, holidays, ants etc. Ants we're actually an important part of my med school experience. My first year we had an ant infestation at the student complex. There were like thousands of ants, we could have called an exterminator but you don't call for backup after you've declared war. Those ants were free entertainment and they had marched into a house of death. I used to lure them onto the kitchen counter with maple syrup making them think its a sign of peace and they were horribly mistaken. When the ants gathered in my home-made sugary booby-trap i'd get a can of deodorant and a lighter and throw flames at them. I'd leave a few alive and watch them walk back into the wall and pretend they were sending a message back to their queen. When my roommate complained about excessive violence i came up with a way to torture ants psychologically without hurting them. I'd take one ant and put him in a plastic container full of sugar and seal him in. It'd be his worst nightmare. I'd watch him walk around slowly losing his tiny mind; all the sugar he could ever want, but nowhere to take it! After an hour i'd take him out and throw him back into the ant hill and laugh some more coz in my mind, his ant family are gonna have questions he can't answer like where's the sugar that they smell on him.

Moral of the story: Don't call a professional to fix a problem you can have fun with.

Thursday

Speed Painting

So today i watched a documentary about boeing plays and one of the highlights was that it takes 3 months to paint a plane. So i thought to myself, haven't they ever noticed how once a plane is in the air it becomes so small that you can even cover it with your thumb? Why not wait till the plane is in the air, then you can paint it quickly with one paint brush stroke.

Moral Of The Story: Gravity is an artist's friend.