Technological Lie

I love technology but sometimes it can get too fancy too fast. One thing that everyone loves but sometimes can get confusing is Google. Google's awesome but i miss the 1990's where you could win an argument with a lie. You could say anything you want to say and everyone would just be like, "I guess he's telling the truth, i'm not gonna go to the library to look that stuff up." It was fantastic. And if the argument ever got too heavy all you'd have to say is, "No seriously. I swear to God!" and everyone would be like "Calm down, we believe you! You'd never bring God into this if you were lying your ass off." But fast forward to 2012 and now if you say anything remotely crazy your friend is already only his cellphone googling it. The only way to kind of get away with it now is to have someone else back you up thats not God. You have to say something crazy and finish it up with "If you don't believe google it!" and everyone would be like "Calm down, we believe you! You'd never bring Google into this if you were lying your ass off!"

Moral of the story: Google lies.


Fight Stories: Part 2

Finally school's out and i am excited to go on holiday and meet my old friends. I ran into one of my buddies the other day and he's mad at me right now because last time we hung out, he got into a fight and i didn't help him. Now i know some of you are going to judge me on that but in some situations when someone gets into a fight its not your place to jump in. What happened was we went to a gas station store, i didn't need nothing from the store so i stayed in the car and there was someone leaving the store while he was on his way in. Usually as a courtesy when you see someone coming you might hold the door for a second and wait for them, but the guy that was leaving decided not to do that and the door closed right on my friend's face. My friend got mad at him and yelled out, "You could've held the goddamn door!" to which the guy responded "You ain't my bitch!" which by the way, i thought was a great answer. Apparently he didn't feel the same way i did because he got even more mad at the guy and said, "Man, fuck you!" Now where i come from 'fuck you' is like a punch and its like the guy grew up in my neighbourhood because he ducked that 'fuck you' and stepped into one of the fastest over-hand right punches i've ever seen in my life; he knocked the wind out of my friend and it was a good one too. Now, you have to know this about me, i'm a sports fan, and when i see a great play sometime i react; and this qualified as a fantastic play. He popped my friend square in his face, his head went back and hit the glass door of the store, his hat shot up and even his bluetooth came out of his ear. And as soon as his head hit the door i had yelled out "Woooo!" and i didn't mean to say it out loud but it just happened. So my friend got up, he looked the guy in the face, he put his hat back on, his bluetooth back in his ear and walked into the store; there was nothing for me to do. All i know is that my friend came back out and he got back into the car. And when he pulled off so we could go home it was as quiet as hell in the car; i didn't know what to say to him, the best i could come up with was "You ok?". He was mad as hell yelling about why i made all the sound effects in the car and i explained that i didn't know that that was going to be the end of the fight, otherwise i would have cheered for him too. And when he started complaining about why i didn't jump into the fight i explained that he got hit and immediately walked in and bought a coke; its not like i could have stayed outside and fought while he waited in line.

Moral of the story: Coke makes people violent