Thought Of The Day

Here's a fun idea. Are you bored and have no kids? Hire a babysitter anyway and say that your kid is asleep upstairs and shouldn't be disturbed. Come back an hour later and ask where your kid is. I promise you the look on their faces is priceless!

Conversation Quotes

I wish maybe, just once, someone would call me 'Sir' without adding "You're making a scene" or "Please leave the building"

Conversation Quotes

I'm hiding behind a tree making carrot noises to catch rabbits...

Conversation Quotes

Henry: I'm going out on a date with Katie. She's good looking and she's crazy and you know what they say about crazy chicks right? :)

Ed: You gotta shoot them in the head or they won't die!

Thought Of The Day

I have been dating, talking, and otherwise dealing with women as an adult for 9+ years now, and for the most part, I’ve found one rule about them to be depressingly true:

1.) Hot
2.) Sane
3.) Single

The best you're ever gonna get is 2 out of 3!

Thought Of The Day

I want to have three kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if i mess up i will just hit all of them at once.

New Reality

I play a lot of video games and i especially like Grand Theft Auto coz it's detailed. I was playing it today and i reached the stage where you have to go out and buy clothes and go on a date with one of the girls in the game. So i bought an outfit that i assumed the video-game girl would like; a nice shirt, some pants and dress shoes, but when i picked her up she said, "That shirt is ugly." So i got out of the car and i shot her in the face because i was angry. I play the game for an escape from real life not an exact replica of what always happens. I don't need to have girl's criticism in real-life and in HD!

Moral of the story: Video games are getting too realistic.