Baby Weapons

I've mentioned it before I'm not really a tough guy, i can't fight and all that so i have no way of defending myself. So i was thinking to myself the other day, if i heard someone breaking into my house i would just try to pretend like I was also breaking into my house and probably we could laugh at the coincidence for a while; i'd talk down my house like, "Can you believe this loser's place? There's nothing of value here, maybe except for these cool pyjamas that i took and I'm wearing right now". I'd just try to make the robber really uncomfortable until he left by saying stuff like, "I can't wait for this Sammy dude to get home, i'm gonna get my rape on!". Hopefully that would get him to leave... The only thing i do for self-defense is i carry a baby around with me because i think of it this way, what kind of a person would attack someone that would hit them with a baby. Its the ultimate weapon.

Moral Of The Story: Babies are better weapons than guns.

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