Saturday

Gay Pandas

I hate pandas! Every living creature loves pandas, the pandas don’t have a natural predator but they are dying out because they stupid snobs! The pandas don’t mate therefore they don’t have babies and that’s why they’re dying out, i think they are dead weight we should all stop trying to protect them and let them die. We’ve tried, as humans to save the pandas but nothing works. We’ve put pandas together in cages and tried to get them to reproduce. It’s like we said to one panda, “There’s a panda, go hump the other panda!” and the pandas said no! I’ve been single for over a year now, you put me in a cage with anything, ANYTHING, and after a week i will try to hump it! Do you know pandas eat bamboo, that is embarrassing to the whole bear community. We should just call them sissy bears! I think if people really want to save the pandas they should just put them in a cage with tigers for 2 weeks, it’s time for the pandas to earn their endangered species status. After 2 weeks we open the cage and if any pandas are alive they deserve protection and their name changed to “super bears” or depending on what they had to do in that awful cage “prison bitch bears”.

Moral Of The Story: Close your eyes panda you can pretend you are still sucking on bamboo.