Thought Of The Day

Cats always land on their feet. Bread always lands on its buttered side. So if you tie a piece of buttered bread onto a cat's back, what side will it fall on?

Hate Sandwich

So i started making a sandwich that was with pork and beef today and i realised by eating it i'm offending like 2 billion (Hindu's and Muslims). So naturally i set out to get more and more food to put in the sandwich thats banned from different cultures and religions. I put eggs for buddhists, a glass of milk coz i already put beef in the sandwich and jews are not allowed to have two products from the same animals at once etc...

Moral Of The Story: Hatred is delicious

Thought Of The Day

If men had periods they'd probably brag about the size of their tampons.

Thought Of The Day

If you read Jesus backwards, it sounds like sausage.

Baby Names

So last week, I decided to get two puppies because i was bored and needed something to keep me preoccupied. They were two adorable labradors which i really liked. the only problem was i couldn't figure out names for both of them. After much debating i decided to name one puppy 'Attack' so that when my friends were over i would say "attack" and the puppy would naturally respond to its name and come towards me but my friends would think its actually coming to attack them. I named the other puppy 'Stop it' so that when my friends would panic that the first puppy is coming to bite them and yell out for me to stop it the other one would come as well and freak them out even more.

Moral Of The Story: Names build character