You know what is the most awkward thing about having roommates? Its when one of them has their room right next to the toilet and they start arguing outside that room, all the while you're sitting on the toilet listening and not knowing whether you should push coz your loud farts will interrupt their fight.
Sammy Is Awesome
Friday
Thursday
Thought Of The Day
So today a friend of mine told me to look through her friend-list for girls she could hook me up with. And going through the list I realized something; girls need to be considerate with their profiles and make their relationship status on Facebook public. You know, so i'm not there wasting my time stalking the shit out of your profile and then 35 photos in i see your boyfriend and i get mad like "who the fuck is this dude kissing you?!" Coz i'm already emotionally invested in this non-existent relationship we have. And i have to keep looking through more photos to try and figure out who he is and what you saw in him, all the while getting progressively more and more hurt that you would cheat on me with a guy like that. I mean i thought we had a connection; i even liked your profile photo even though we're not friends. We had something good, but you ruined it by going to him and my heart is broken and I can never love you the same way like I did before. We have to call it quits and it is sad. Basically what I’m saying is that stalkers have feelings too girls, so be nice and don’t break the heart of the creepy guy watching you.
Creep-stache.
Saturday
Buttery Roommates
Technological Lie
Moral of the story: Google lies.
Wednesday
Fight Stories: Part 2
Moral of the story: Coke makes people violent
Saturday
Surprise Race
Moral Of The Story: Running makes you a rapist.
Wednesday
Thought Of The Day
Sunday
Slim Advice
Moral Of The Story: Never trust any guy named slim.
Monday
Prostitute Delivery
Moral Of The Story: It's not the news, it's how you deliver it.
Saturday
Gay Pandas
Moral Of The Story: Close your eyes panda you can pretend you are still sucking on bamboo.
Couples Counselling
Moral Of The Story: Avoiding confrontations has a price tag!
Wednesday
Attack Of The Horns
Moral Of The Story: Unicorns are cool!
Saturday
Thought Of The Day
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Wednesday
Secret Superman
Moral Of The Story: If you crash a wedding you get free cake, but if you crash a funeral you create a superhero.
Tuesday
Religious Facebook
Moral Of The Story: Add a religious person, it makes social networking more interesting.
Saturday
Thought Of The Day
Sunday
Fight Stories
Moral of the story: RUN!
Monday
Insect Armageddon
Moral of the story: Don't call a professional to fix a problem you can have fun with.
Thursday
Speed Painting
Moral Of The Story: Gravity is an artist's friend.
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Sunday
Conversation Quotes
Saturday
Conversation Quotes
Ed: You gotta shoot them in the head or they won't die!
Thought Of The Day
1.) Hot
2.) Sane
3.) Single
The best you're ever gonna get is 2 out of 3!
Thought Of The Day
Sunday
New Reality
Moral of the story: Video games are getting too realistic.
Friday
Conversation Quotes
Tom: It's my roommate's. She uses it all the time and she's practically a doctor.
Mike: How is your roommate practically a doctor?
Tom: I dunno, she's washes her hands all the time...
Thursday
Thought Of The Day
Saturday
Old School
Moral of the story: If you want to be dramatic, go old school.. or learn to throw your phone at someone.
Friday
Conversation Quotes
Mike: There's a special place in hell for you dude!
Wednesday
Conversation Quotes
Lazy Suicide
Moral of the story: Don't be lazy, be suicidal. It sounds fancier.
Tuesday
Conversation Quotes
Steve: Dumbass I drove us home... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate!
Accidentally On Purpose
Moral of the story: Accidents make the best surprises.
Thursday
Yoga Breaths
Moral of the story: If you're gonna go out, might as well go out with a bang.
Tuesday
Conversation Quotes
Ahmed: so that means you're scared of cows?
Saturday
Thought Of The Day
Wednesday
Hate Sandwich
Moral Of The Story: Hatred is delicious
Sunday
Baby Names
Moral Of The Story: Names build character
Wednesday
Thursday
Wednesday
Sports 101
Moral of the story: It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, it's who gets the blame at the end of the game.
Monday
Conversation Quotes
Romulus: No! My fat makes me look fat. the shirt makes me look red!
Saturday
Backwards Pants
Moral Of The Story: Reverse psychology also works on clothing.
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Tuesday
Thought Of The Day
Saturday
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Thursday
Lost: Season 11
Moral of the story: Plan you're death, you might get on TV
Sunday
Conversation Quotes
Byron: Well, you could say the same for Jesus.
Thought Of The Day
Wednesday
Baby Weapons
Moral Of The Story: Babies are better weapons than guns.
Sunday
How To Impress A Girl - Part 1: Cooking
Step 2: Find a recipe book, a fine cuisine recipe book and leave the page of the hardest meal to cook open and placed in a position that when she walks thats the first thing she'll see.
Step 3: Stock up on spices and empty spice bottles (i doubt she'll check if there's any inside) and leave them in a very visible position to her.
Step 4: Once u start cooking make sure to use culinary terms like marinate or whisk the eggs to create the impression you know what you're doing.
Step 5: Make sure to talk a lot to divert attention from the fact that you're only making eggs.
Step 6: Make sure to move around the kitchen a lot and move the frying pan unnecessarily to seem busy.
Step 7: Place as many spices as possible next to the oven to make her think you'll be using them
Step 8: Once ur eggs are done pretend to have had the intention to use the spices and act like you forgot. Preferably promise to use them next time.
Step 9: Once done with the eggs remove the actual meal your mum had prepared from the fridge and warm saying that you had prepared that dish before and the eggs would just be a supplementary dish.
Tuesday
Sunday
Thought Of The Day
Saturday
Though Of The Day
Thursday
Fatal Farts
Moral Of The Story: Creativity always leaves a lasting impression
Sunday
Dead Toilets
Moral Of The Story: Always pee before you die
Saturday
Thought Of The Day
Thursday
Super Germ
Tuesday
Thought Of The Day
Saturday
Elevators are gay...
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Monday
Conversation Quotes
Thursday
Stalker Appreciation Day
Tuesday
Fat Roomates
Monday
3 Levels Of Cool
Tuesday
Gray's Anatomy
Monday
Robberies
Thursday
Thought Of The Day
Tuesday
Thought Of The Day
Monday
The Gift Of Giving
Saturday
Thursday
Baby Momma's
Date a model, but have babies with a fat woman... Save yourself the shock.
Conversation Quotes
John: Dude, do you even know what 'unpretentious' means?
Mark: It means she likes me.
Tuesday
What Would Jesus Do?
Sunday
Halloween On A Budget
Recession breeds Innovation...
Friday
Thought Of The Day
Thursday
African Hospitals = Optimism
Thought Of The Day
Wednesday
Indians In Space
Date a black guy, there's a future in it.
Tuesday
Toilet Paper
Monday
Wedding Ban
That made us both laugh loudly, gathering everyone's attention.
These events and others that i haven't mentioned are the reason why i haven't been allowed to any of my family's wedding after 2007...
Tampons
i even coloured 16 of them black and played chess with them. Tampons do in fact rock very much :)